partybarackisinthehousetonight:

pro tip: fill the piñata with absolutely nothing to prepare your kids for the letdowns of adulthood

(via baconundies)

ayeleesh:

when you see your reflection on your laptop screen and you just look

(via baconundies)

• me when I first got my tumblr: *cries because I don't know what to do*
• me now: *cries because this is all I do*

anglosexual:

chickensandwich:

i hate when couples say “we’re pregnant” because there is a very slim chance that they are both pregnant

(via laughcentre)

snow-angel-castiel:

aangnog:

probend:

PE is 5% exorcise and 95% embarrassment 

what kind of gym class do you have that exorcises their kids

(via laughcentre)

stevenfresco:

“we’re having pizza for dinner”

(via sloth-grunge)

a-ckleholic:

gtaire:

r u ever scared to walk past a group of teenagers even though you are also a teenager

r u ever scared to walk past a group of people even though you are also a people

(via consumedbythedarknesswithin)

beyonces-butt:

I hate it when you’ve been really on edge for a while and then you have a breakdown over a little thing and everyone thinks that you’re getting super upset about not washing your hair

(via nahthatsnotveryraven)

vexarion:

ifyoucarryonthisway:

i need a job where i work one hour a week and i get paid a thousand dollars a minute 

(via sarcasticallysimple)

pizzadelivery:

my dad suspected there was a bear stealing from our birdfeeder at night so he set up a trail camera and then did this in an attempt to be funny and also lure the bear in

we thought he was just being stupid until this showed up on the film the next day

(via sarcasticallysimple)